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The Feature Articles

New Article
"The Best Ways to Develop a Lasting Relationship"

Conscious
Communication Series

Part 02
"Express Yourself
with Purpose"
February 2007

Part 01
"Dress to Express"
January 2007

"Meeting People and
Starting Relationships"

April 2007

The summer of 2007 is now upon us, and for those looking to meet someone new and are thinking about how to go about it, this article is for you. Of course, if you are into meeting new people, and want to expand your friend’s network this summer, then you can read on too…

When I think about meeting new people, it really boils down to “Effective Networking”, the group of people you would call friends, the people you hang out with, and enjoy life with. When you expand your network, you expand the amount of people you can possibly meet.

You can either expand your network internally or externally. You can make new friends through your friends, and then meet their friends or you can make fresh new friends and meet their friends.

Those in your network can be people that you would date, and can be friends that introduce you to people for you to date. So any which way you look at it, you win. Now meeting ‘fresh’ new people that are not connected to your network means that you’ll have to do some “Cold-Approaches”.

This is where the fun begins. Converting Strangers to Friends, and it’s the most natural thing you can do. Everyone likes to make new friends, and if you are down to earth, and can have people feel comfortable around you and have fun, then you’ll have no problem.

When people go out looking to meet new people, they are looking for others with their kind of ‘vibe’, so think about what kind of people are ‘your kind of vibe’. Then when you are out and about, your mind will automatically start ‘noticing’ people that are your kind of vibe. Realizing that they are your kind of vibe, instead of being shy, you would feel relaxed and at ease, and then you just walk up and start up a conversation.

If they’re someone you would be ‘romantically interested in’, just keep treating them as you would a friend, while speaking the Language of “Sexual Status”, to create that attraction between you. There is a certain ‘vibe’ between two people who are communicating their Sexual Status with each other, when they are interacting. It’s almost as if no one else is around, and it’s just the two of them in the world, no matter who’s around at the time.

Now, not everyone you meet you will be romantically interested in, but they are all wonderful human beings, so why couldn’t you still become friends if nothing else? The more friends, the better, the more lives you touch in your life time, the better, that’s what life is about.

As well, all those new friends also have friends and some of those friends may fit what you are looking for. You have to network. Some people only meet and date others that are ‘connected’ to them through their ‘network’, as they mostly only hang out with their family and friends.

This means that there are TONS of potential people that you would only be able to meet if you went to the same events, gatherings or were introduced to them by a friend or associate of theirs.

When you are meeting new people, it is good to have a couple things that you want to ‘share’ with those that you meet, let’s say a few stories you’d like to tell, maybe a few experiences that are fun and exciting that would give people an insight into the type of person you are, so that they can get to know your vibe quickly.

It is also good to talk to those that you meet about ‘themselves’, so that you can get to know their vibe quickly, and not invest too much time into people that aren’t really your vibe, or fit what you are looking for, the qualities you look for in that special person you want to find.

As well, people love to talk about themselves and they know the most about themselves than anyone else. So they have literally “years” worth of things to talk about and share, things that if shared will add to the experience of the ‘two of you’ getting to know each other better. You’ll probably talk about those same stories for years to come, the best moments of each others lives.

Once you start a conversation, having those couple of stories that you want to share in mind will give you the confidence that you have things to talk about and create interest and intrigue with those you meet. Want to make more friends, practice your Story Telling skills, and how to capture peoples attention, and practice your Public Speaking, how to project your voice and your body language, as First Impressions are very important, and often hard to change.

The best and greatest skill that any Socialite must have is the ability to ‘make people laugh’, the ability to create humour from any situation, and in conversation. If you can tell your stories in a way that creates laughter and are funny, or can comment on the situation you are both in, and do so in a way that makes them laugh, then you are IN. The number 1 quality women look for in a man is a ‘sense of humour’. The number 1 quality that men look for in women, is a women that ‘loves to laugh, and has a good sense of humour'.

So women want a man that can make them laugh in a way that ‘creates attraction’, and men want a woman that will laugh when they intent to create attraction with her, and will also make them laugh as well. So it’s a win-win. We both make each other laugh, and we both love it, so you have an amazing experience together.

You can usually gauge how much fun people are having by the rate and intensity of the laughter of the group, so laugher is good, humour is good, so learn to intensify your sense of humour, and use it with Style and Finesse, and you’ll have the ability to create conversations with anyone you meet instantaneously, because all it takes is a couple words to start up a conversation.

Say something funny, make a funny comment, or ask a leading question, maybe something about them, what you can perceive about them, or what they are wearing, something about the environment that you are both in, something about them that you actually want to know, or maybe it’s a question about something that you are interested in, and you want to see if they share the same interests.

For example, when the 2006 FIFA World Cup was going on, if you loved soccer, you could easily start a conversation by asking someone, “Hey, you a soccer fan?” They will almost always give you an answer, and knowing that FIFA World Cup is going on will usually immediately tell you who they are rooting for, and now you’ve engaged them in conversation. You can talk about how their team is doing, who you are rooting for, your favourite players, how often you play soccer, other sports you like as much as soccer, things you like to do besides sports, and before you know it, your hanging out. If you are interacting with a group, you can get the whole group involved and then make friends with the whole group.

Now, when you start meeting new people, since you are still ‘new’ to them, so you will have to create trust between you, and the deeper the trust the deeper the relationship will grow. Even though trust will grow with time, you should introduce them to a couple of your friends, as it will also let them into your life deeper, so they know how you live your life, and give your relationship some ‘grounding’ and create a stronger reality. Some people will want to be friends with you, just because you are a cool person, live a cool life, and have the coolest friends. Then you will be meeting people automatically, because people will start introducing themselves to you.

So the best way to achieve this level of networking is to become the ‘social center’. The person your friends turn to, when they want to have fun. Most people don’t want to actually plan for fun, but instead like to find fun times wherever it is happening. So be the person who creates those ‘fun times’. The easiest way to do so is to find a different but cool lounge or place for drinks or to chill out and make reservations for say a party of 10 or 20, and invite enough people out to come and bring friends. You arrange it, you set it up, and let everyone have fun.

You’ll meet every person that comes and their friends that they bring directly and automatically, since you’re the one who gave of yourself and set it all up. You’re the one having the party. You can’t go wrong.

Now here’s one better. Have your own private party. It is best to do it at your place, as your Social Status automatically increases when you are throwing your own party since it’s your place, and if you set it up right, people will want to come back.

Just be careful, because you may end up having people just ‘chilling’ at your place all the time, from when you wake up, till you come home from work to go to sleep. If you run into that situation, you can set out a donation jar for food and drinks, and a new plasma television so you don’t have to worry about paying for it all.

Why not try setting up Happy Hour at your place which is a ‘tradition’ among 9-5ers, who on Friday night want to hang out with friends, discuss their week, unwind a little and enjoy life. Mix up the friends you invite often to keep it fresh and exciting for everyone, and you can invite people that you meet during the week, which will also communicate Social Status, as it is your place, your reality, you’re the Social Center, and they are ‘guests within your reality’.

Now, you’re not just successfully meeting people, you are literally gravitating people into your own reality and having fun, creating good relationships.

So the key is to “Meeting People and Starting Relationships” is to Expand your Social Network, Become your own Social Center, know the type of vibe you are looking for, Start conversations in a way that will create positive experiences, share of yourself and your reality, and people will be drawn to you and ‘join’ your Social Network, whether as a platonic or romantic friend, or to whatever level you wish.

If you’re just the buddy that your friends invite out to ‘tag along’, then you may need to ‘step it up a notch’ and invest a little more energy into your social networking, if your intent is to increase the quality and amount of friends and associate your know and spend time with. Start your own circle of friends, so that you can take an active role in which relationships you choose to spend your time with and which relationships you want to grow.

By setting up your life in a way that you can truly meet real, genuine unique and loving people and create and nurture those relationships that you want to grow, you will open the door to a wonderful life full of many, many joys, wonders, and memorable experiences, a decision that you will never regret doing and working on for the rest of your life!

David Vassell