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August 2006
The road is bare… It’s dark outside, the clouds loom above, disheartening
the moon beams that shine in your pathway.
Where are we going? You ask yourself as your thoughts
dwell on the plentiful actions that you have given and devoted to your loved
one, hoping to water the seemingly destitute relationship you are currently
in.
You’ve given of yourself and received nothing in return.
Even though you are self-less, you feel a void, as your expressions of love
appear to fall on deaf ears.
Why does this happen? Why do so many people find
themselves in relationships that are in actuality only one way streets?
Two main reasons really stand out as being affecters of
the outcome of your relationship:
1. The way you view the person you’re with.
2. The type of person they are.
1. Quite often, many people rush into relationships based
on the driving factor of their quickly developed emotional attachment to
someone. They have the tendency to appear needy, making it obvious
that they are more into their partner than they are into them.
Doing nice things for your partner is good. You
have to give to your relationship, but sometimes people tend to give too
much and smother the other person, quenching the burning fire of their love
for you in the process.
The more you psychologically lean towards that person,
they lean even farther back, and it becomes a perpetual cycle. If you
find that your partner is pushing back, then it is time for you to lean
back, and allow the pendulum swing to draw your partner back into an
amicable balance.
Working with a relationship is like watering a plant.
If you over-watered your plant your plant would die, but just the right
amount of water and sunshine, and your plant will grow vibrant!
2. Quite often, certain personality traits go unnoticed
or overlooked at the dawn of many relationships. Some people have the
tendency to take advantage of situations that are in their favour. If
someone is always giving to you, it is very easy to get caught up in it.
When this happens, respect is diminishing and the
relationship starts to crumble. You must expect and demand that your
relationship be a two way street. Both of you have to water your
relationship if it is to grow. After all, you are both together in
your relationship; each one has to do their part.
If you’re dating someone and you find yourself in a one
way street relationship; the person you’re with being unwilling to change,
then it is definitely time to move on. You’re worth it and you owe it
to yourself to be in a relationship with someone who not only wants, but who
is also willing to contribute to your relationship as much as you do!
David Vassell
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