Welcome to DatingFinesse | Express Through Your Center of Love | Articles discussing love and romance, dating and relationships, through a conscious perspective and insight, leading one towards the journey of self-evolution and inner-awakening. | Creating and Amplifying Attraction | Meeting People and Starting Relationships | One Way Street | Developing Lasting Relationships | Art of Being | Express Yourself with Purpose | Dress to Express | Overcoming Road Blocks | Give the Gift of Your Presence | Moments of Love | Let your True Beauty Shine | First Kiss | Building Blocks of Lasting Relationshps | Intuition: Key to Successful Dating and Relationships | Playful Banter | Enhance and Amplify Conversational Prowess | Growing Love in your Life

In previous articles, we've discussed briefly the building blocks of lasting relationships, which start with Love and Acceptance, Value and Respect, glued together my cultivating Personal Integrity.

These are powerful qualities and character traits that we should all look for and grow in our lives and relationships. There are a few ‘road blocks’ to growing your life and relationships with Love and Integrity, things that we should work at weeding out.

All relationships MUST be based on Love and Integrity if they are to grow and prosper. When we say love, we are talking about a higher quality of love, unconditional love. Unconditional love is the type of love that you should cultivate in your relationships, the type of love that encompasses accepting, valuing and respecting others, unconditionally.

Unfortunately, putting this into practice isn’t always easy, especially when the other person you are dealing with seems adamant on projecting anything BUT unconditional love. To be able to allow yourself to love unconditionally, you need to wrap your mind around 2 important concepts, so that you can easily discern within yourself whether you are expressing your love authentically or not.

There are different kinds of love, and the love to cultivate is beyond our emotions or reactive feelings, in which we label things that we either ‘love or hate’. This love is beyond and stems from within, the very essence of our life.

The Opposite of this type of love, the unconditional variety, is fear, and is the driving force for most of the world we live in today. These two concepts of polarities, exist as absolutes, so if you exist in fear, then fear wraps you up in its very existence, if you exist in love, then love clothes you in its radiance and joy.

The 2 main fears that will cripple your ability to grow Real Love in your life are: Fear of Disapproval, and Fear of Incompleteness.

What happens is when you experience a fear of disapproval or not being enough, it knocks you out of balance with yourself. When you fear disapproval, you try to seek or gain approval outside yourself. Then you always live with this fear, and it perpetuates itself, because not everyone will approve of you, or want to date you. That’s a fact.

When you meet a man or woman that you are attracted to, that ‘attraction’ creates an inner-pull towards the ‘object of your desire’. If you fear that you will not be liked or loved, basically being accepted, then that fear exists because you haven’t fully yet learned to accept and love yourself unconditionally. That is what last month’s article was about.

The fruitage of cultivating this self-love and acceptance, instead of looking for love and acceptance outside of self is that you will begin to only ‘need’ your own inner love and acceptance to feel ‘complete or whole’. This is something you can instantly radiate inward at anytime of day, which is already a part of who you are. You are already someone capable of radiating Unconditional Love and Acceptance from within, throughout their lives and the world around them

By doing this regularly, you realize that ‘YOU ARE ENOUGH’. You do not lack anything, and you don’t ‘need’ anything or anyone to make you complete, because your acceptance of yourself is to say that you are already ‘complete as you are’, and have always been. No more, no less. You don’t need to be more attractive or feel less attractive than the next boy or girl. You are internally-centered, focused within, where your true beauty exists, waiting to be expressed.

Now, you will still be attracted to people, and you may ‘want’ them in your life, but you won’t ‘need’ them in your life. Sure, their presence would ‘enrich’ your life, but not ‘complete’ your life. You accept who you are within, and your life, and realize that whatever situation you are in now is not only ok, but in its own way, is perfectly on track for where you want to go with your life.

You stop judging people and the world around you as either good or bad, and finally see yourself and the world around you, as it is.

If you want to change your current situation in your love life to a more positive vibration, first accept where you are now, and feel the completeness of your life already. It’s a choice you can make. When you are in a more positive situation, you will also have to accept that, and not look at someone else and suddenly feel that because you are ‘only’ going on 5 dates a week now, that your are somehow ‘not enough’ because the guy beside you is going on 10 dates a week. Remember, this is your life, you call the shots. You don’t have to prove to anyone that you’re worth living, just know it within.

You can either perpetuate more positive energy into your life by going on your dates with a vibration of self-love and acceptance, or create negative energy by projecting fear, and self-doubt.

Life only exists in the present moment and is in a state of flow. At any given moment, you cannot be more or less than you are, for who you are in that moment is who you are in your totality. Additionally, trying to find fulfillment outside of you, through your job, or women, or money, or material possessions, cannot make you complete or whole.

This is why those who identify their self-worth, value or acceptance in the things outside of themselves, in the world around them, their life situation, are NEVER happy. They judge themselves by what is outside of themselves, so what they don’t have they want and they want it to be better than the next person so that they can feel superior to them, and therefore feel ‘more complete’.

Since these types of behaviors will never allow you to feel the fullness of being complete which comes from ‘unconditional acceptance of Self as is’, you live in a state of anxiety and tension and fear, that you will either lose yourself or be devalued. If you identify yourself with externals, then anyone can devalue you, and they will, because they as well are on the search for completeness and sanity.

These feeling many are grasping after are an illusion. No amount of money or sexual conquests will ever make one feel complete. Instead you feel drained, like a man in a desert chasing after a mirage.

Therefore for you to feel complete, and know that you are enough, and that anything is possible for you in your life, set aside some time for yourself and practice projecting unconditional acceptance and love by looking at the positive side of yourself and your reality, and stop judging yourself and others because that is the opposite of accepting, and unconditional love. Do these, as you contemplate the Fullness of Who You Are Within.

Grab a pen and paper and start looking within at your own completeness and then see it in others and everything around you. Spend some time in silent meditation and contemplation of your own inner beauty and radiance. Gradually, you will see and think or yourself and others with a certain equality for the splendor and beauty of the life within us all that we now share together in this day and age. Then you will know the truth found it these words: To know your true self, your unchanging and everlasting beauty within is to be in a room, alone, and know that you are still, in the best company.

David Vassell