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The
Feature Articles
New Article
"The
Best Ways to Develop a Lasting Relationship"
Conscious
Communication Series
Part 02
"Express
Yourself
with Purpose"
February
2007 Part 01
"Dress
to Express"
January 2007
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May 2006
Have you ever been out with your friends, perhaps at a party looking to meet
new people and found that for some reason, you were ‘drawn’ to someone, and
after spending some time with them, found that you surprisingly felt as if
you had been friends with them a long time?
It is times like those that stand out in our minds as being ‘special’,
especially if the person you met became a long lasting friend, or your
life-long partner, but whether you believe in fate or not, the truth is, we
can all create experiences like that, where the things that revolve around
us in our lives all come together perfectly, the life we always wanted and
enjoy.
In reality we attract the things in our reality to us, based on what our
time is invested in, and what we spend our time focusing our mind towards.
If you focus on the fact that you don’t currently have a happy relationship,
then your ‘world’ becomes that of someone who ‘doesn’t have a happy
relationship’, and you would be correct, because it is you who chooses what
you consider to be happiness, and it is you who chooses how you view your
current life situation and yourself as a person.
Now if you were out with some friends, and the ‘perfect’ person for you was
in the room, someone who’s qualities and personality, or ‘personal core’,
would perfectly mesh well with your in terms of compatibility and attraction
if you were to actually spend time together, but your focus remained on how
‘unhappy’ you were that you were single, then when the end of the night
comes, that is what you will have. More of: “I am unhappy, because I am
Single”.
If you on the other hand, realized that you have the ‘Power of Choice’, then
you would realize that you choose what you will focus your mind on, and that
since your mind is just a tool, you can then CHOOSE to focus your
“perception of reality”, regardless of what negative “mental trash talk’
your ‘analytical’ mind and realize and rejoice in the level of happiness you
currently have. Then from that deeper awareness of self gained from honest
self-contemplation, one then aligns oneself with the inner-knowing of ones
conscience or intuition and then act from that expanded awareness of
consciousness.
Then when one acts from that state of being, one can act with confidence in
life. You no longer sit around at parties waiting for people to talk to you,
or do things that ruin the chances you would have at establishing a lasting
relationship in your life, even though its something that you want and
desire. You ‘feel’ your way around a room, and let your intuition point you
in the right direction, feeling people out for who they are as a person,
instead of ‘thinking’ your way around, and deciding on who you will talk to
based on who you think they are, which you will inevitable find in them,
even though it may not really be, as that which you focus on… is your
reality.
When a person begins exercising their Power of Choice, it often feels
strange, and almost contradictory, as there exists a conflict between their
“Mental Trash Talk”, and their “Conscious Thoughts”, but with some time and
patience, a person will find that their thoughts are no longer ‘traitors or
betrayers of self’, always dragging one down with a barrage of thoughts of
doubt, criticism, and fear, and instead that inner voice perpetuated by the
mind will be replaced by the inner-knowing of our conscience, which will
begin to encourage One to live with courage, appreciation and love,
realizing that the key to each persons happiness resides within one’s self,
and that being the Power of Choice.
Now, having that Power of Choice is important to realize, but of equal
importance is knowing and making “the correct choices” in life. Of course,
everyone in the world wants to know how to make the correct choices that
will lead them towards the goals or aspirations they seek, and not come to
feel regretful about anything down the road, which seems to be the case with
many people when it comes to Dating and Relationships.
The Key is being aware of one’s own perception and intuition or conscience,
or the magnetic-pull of one’s sub-conscious mind or self, and then acting
with decisiveness in alignment with that inner knowledge. It is likened to
the man who felt the ‘pull’ to talk to a woman that ‘caught his eye’ for
whatever reason, but fails to live with courage and investigate the
attraction, only to live with regret and disappointment about those many
moments in time years down the line.
A ‘potentially’ great story, perhaps one of the greatest of his live,
becomes diminished to nothing more than a story best told over “beer and
wings”, a story shared with the guys at the local pub on Friday Nights,
being told amongst the ranting of complains about their own inadequacy and
shortage of women in their lives, perpetuating their own Self-Prophesies
with much conviction, and all the while are disappointingly, only an
arm-stretch away from in a bar filled with Hot, Attractive, and Available
Women looking for a Real Man to create “good times’ with.
Again, what One’s Minds Focuses on Is One’s Reality. If at least one of them
in the group were to have an instant flash of insight, and realize that
‘everything is subjective’, and that its all about how you ‘perceive’ your
reality, then maybe they’d realize that they already have what it takes to
create a lasting relationship, and actually motivate themselves to get off
their butts, live with courage and go introduce themselves to their future
girlfriends…
“The Choice is Always Yours”
The question now is one of how does one become aware of one’s intuition, and
then develop their personal ‘compass’, to assist them in achieving their
goals and desires?
Well, to be aware of your faculty of intuition, let’s first look at the
dictionary description of ‘Intuition’.
Intuition:
1) quick and ready insight
2) immediate apprehension or cognition
3) knowledge or conviction gained by intuition
4) the power or faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition
without evident rational thought and inference
Intuition is one of the aspects of our cognitive abilities, or our ability
to know things about our internal and external world. The other two are
Reasoning, and Perception.
Now if you are at a social event, using your Power of Reasoning will only
take you as far as being able to identify the aspects of self that you most
admire and are most compatible with you, in a person.
When you are now actually out in the world living life, you must then use
your Power of Perception and your Power of Intuition, to be able to
intuitively feel for and know the most compatible ones to invest the limited
time you have that night to interact, and then be able to perceive whether
those ‘Aspects of Self’ are evident in the person you are getting to know
better.
As you can see, it is that function of our consciousness that creates those
‘feelings’, that we get when we walk into a party, and just ‘know’ we are
going to enjoy ourselves, or when you meet someone whom you just knew was
going to share a particular interest with you, which you later found out was
true, or you felt that a friend was going to call you on the phone, and
immediate the phone rang and it was them.
Or how about those times when you felt that a person you were dating was
going to do something special for you, and they did, or after a quick
glance, you instantly knew a certain guy was going to come over and talk to
you, and you told your friend, and later that night everything happened as
you knew it would.
These ‘flashes of insight’ or intuition that everyone experiences from time
to time occur within our ‘center’, beyond our minds, and are often
inexplicable by our minds, and therefore we often dismiss the ‘feeling’ or
‘intuition’ on the basis that we cannot ‘think it out’ to be correct, which
is only ‘one’ aspect of our ability to ‘know’ or cognition.
But the problem here is that in order to ‘think something through’ we need
to already ‘know’ enough information to come to a conclusion, but the source
of our knowledge flows through our intuition and perception, which our minds
then take into consideration when constructing our ‘reality’.
In the previous example, imagining to yourself which guy is going to
approach you would be useless to you, as you cannot ‘think’ to figure it out
and even if you use your Perception as well you still wouldn’t be ‘sure’,
but if you utilize your intuition and become aware of your ‘inner-feeling’,
or ‘inner-knowing’, and feel out people’s ‘vibes’ and intuitively feel out
who would be most compatible with you.
Then, knowing that, you can get that persons attention and which, if you are
correct in your intuition, should ‘magnetically’ be drawn to you as their
vibe will be that of a person who is already compatible with you, it’s just
for you to now discover it that they are.
Next time you go to a party, watch the people there. You will naturally see
that ‘certain types of people’ tend to naturally gravitate towards each
other, and naturally seem to interact with each other, whereas, when these
ones interact with others in the group, the interactions don’t seem to flow
quite the same way.
If you focusing your mind on what you want in your life, the type of person
you want to meet, someone compatible to you, you will magnetically attract
those types of persons in your life. Now by expanding your intuition and
awareness, you become more and more aware of when you ‘sense’ when those
persons that match that ‘vibration’ or ‘vibe’, come around you physically.
It is as if the very rays of light that are bouncing off their bodies and
entering your eyes, carry with it, the person’s ‘vibe’ or ‘state of being’,
which you feel as an expression of who they are. You perceive it in their
face, in the very energy they project, the way they stand, the way they
talk.
Now it is up to you to live with courage, and with inner-knowing, as you
have access to your conscience any time of any day, when you want to
intuitively know what direction to take.
Let’s say you had 2 parties to choose from and your goal was to meet someone
new and set up a date, then why not use your intuition to decide which party
to go to.
You will never be able to fully know what will happen at either party unless
you went to both simultaneously. Now you could sit down and with your mind,
‘think it through’, but your Power of Reason has its limits as it can only
‘guess’ or ‘hypothesize’ and then ‘rationalize’ why that guess is correct or
not.
Now if you were to use your Perception and Intuition, which would deepen,
the more you act in alignment with your conscience, and inner-knowing, you
would then be able to ‘feel out’ or ‘sense’ which place would be best for
you to meet someone new.
After time, all choices you make would be fully in alignment with that
inner-knowing, your conscience your innerSelf, which would then be perfectly
in alignment with your true desires and needs, which would then bring you
the full realization of love and happiness in your life.
Now, one of the ways that you can expand your awareness and perception and
‘direct’ your flow of intuition is through Self-Contemplation.
Direct your attention inward, into your feelings, beyond the mind, beyond
your thoughts, beyond rationalizing. Instead, access the non-scripted part
of your mind that does not use words to think, but uses visualizations or
pictures to process information. Then picture in your mind the visualization
of being in the situation you want, but one within the peace of the now,
being where you want to be, already arriving.
If it is one of you “vibing” with a guy/girl that is remarkably very
compatible with you, or of you at work, working in a dream job, that would
be useful, as the visualization is one of you being where you want to be, as
we know that what you focus on becomes your reality. Therefore, that’s the
direction we want to focus towards.
The more vivid that visualization is, the deeper you will be able to feel
yourself within your projected desire. Then within you, feel the best
direction or path that is YOU. Feel the path or direction most aligned to
who you are inside. Instead, don’t ‘Tell’ yourself what direction you should
go, but rather, feel which direction is best for you. Feel as if one of
those choices, say in the choice of the 2 parties, feel a pull towards one
of them.
Don’t ‘force’ it’, be patient, and alert, and perceive what feelings you
get. Just ‘watch’ your feelings, and don’t judge or analyze them, but see
them for what they are, otherwise you may misconstrue your intuitive
feelings to be pointing you in a direction that you ‘think’ you should go
in, even though you may ‘know’ deep down that it isn’t the right way to go.
Even in situations where we really could ‘go either way’, than often thet is
an indication that either choice would be good, and therefore, if you choose
to ‘live your life with courage’, then you would live a little, and go to
both parties and set up 2 dates instead of just one.
We all know what is right for us, and what is wrong for us, and yet we often
do things that we know will be bad for us in the end, and then when it does
turn out bad, complain about it, and scratch our heads wondering why things
went the way they did, when the whole time, if we had ‘acknowledged’ the
feelings we had within, we would have been able to avoid much of the
problems and pain experienced in life.
Those feelings come from your inner self, your intuitive mind, and if tapped
into impartially, then our awareness and “inner knowing” expands, and our
compass or conscience becomes stronger like a magnet becoming more and more
polarized in a constant state of flow and becomes always a steadfast source
of ‘quick and ready insight’ into the world around us.
In my research of dating and relationships, I’ve found that most everyone
has dated someone at some time or another that they ‘had a feeling’, or ‘an
intuitive insight’, into the person that they were with, and knew that they
shouldn’t be with them, but ignored their inner knowing for the
rationalizations of their minds and reaped much pain from those
relationships as a result, pain and anguish that could have been avoided,
and replaced in their lives with love and happiness.
To elicit a response from your inner self, your conscience, to access the
Power of Intuition, ask yourself personal questions for Self-Contemplation,
such as “Is X truly compatible with who I am on the inside, or with who I am
trying to be on the outside?”, or “What Do I really feel about X inside”,
and then perceive within yourself the response to those questions, the
feeling you get inside. (Any personal question that requires an “A or B”
answer is best used to help a person consciously tap into their intuition.)
An example would be of a woman dating a man whom she really likes but for
some reason just doesn’t feel totally 100% about being in a relationship
with him. Asking herself, “What do I really feel about X on the inside”,
will make her become more aware of her ‘feelings’ and then she will be open
to Perceive some aspect of him that in terms of compatibility, are
‘red-flags’, which she rationalized as ‘ok’, or ignored or was un-aware of
completely, such as lack of hygiene, or lack of style or class, or lack of
consideration to her desires and goals, etc.
Then with this new flash of insight and new perception, which may come
immediately or shortly afterwards, she now realizes something that she’s
known all along, something that her intuition or conscience has been
shouting at her from the beginning, “This Man Is Not for You”. Now the
question is, will she act in alignment with her inner self or not?
So even though a person may develop their awareness of their intuition, it
is still up to them whether they will utilize their Personal Power of
Choice, and do what they know is right, or allow the imagined illusions of
their mind of ‘what could happen’ to side-track them on the road of life,
and drag them down a gloomy path.
Now if one becomes more and more aware of that part of them that is beyond
the rationalizing mind, the Intuitive Mind, the Conscience, and then
continue to expand their perceptions fully utilizing that flow of knowledge,
one can be sure that the choices made in life will all reap positive results
for Him or Her. Best of all, one will be ‘sure’ of ones actions and the
direction and flow of ones life, and so find that illusive Peace of Mind
from finally “arriving”, allowing one now to be able to fully enjoy the
experience of living a life of love and happiness, which is the ultimate
goal of Dating and Relationships.
David Vassell
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