Welcome to DatingFinesse | Express Through Your Center of Love | Articles discussing love and romance, dating and relationships, through a conscious perspective and insight, leading one towards the journey of self-evolution and inner-awakening. | Creating and Amplifying Attraction | Meeting People and Starting Relationships | One Way Street | Developing Lasting Relationships | Art of Being | Express Yourself with Purpose | Dress to Express | Overcoming Road Blocks | Give the Gift of Your Presence | Moments of Love | Let your True Beauty Shine | First Kiss | Building Blocks of Lasting Relationshps | Intuition: Key to Successful Dating and Relationships | Playful Banter | Enhance and Amplify Conversational Prowess | Growing Love in your Life

It's Saturday Night. You're out on the town with a few close friends, chatting with those around you, enjoying the moment, and the intense atmosphere of rhythmic music and laughter. Wherever you look there are people, all excited about being here, casually observing the crowd with a curious gleam in their eyes.

You quickly notice those certain individuals that ooze confidence, a magnetic sense of self and style, Personal Charisma, the ones that are engaged in lively discussions with other members of the opposite sex, maintaining group curiosity and intrigue, which soon turns into attraction and interest, opening the way for potential Romantic Friendships.

You make a decision to project an elevated awareness of self and confidence, so you correct your posture and stand tall, shoulders back and relaxed, rooted in your legs, feeling every muscle in your body relax as your body now begins to become aligned with your awakened sense of self. Suddenly someone you've been noticing with Romantic Curiosity turns to look at you and smiles.

Slightly startled but now intrigued, you maintain eye contact, and a second later, display a radiant smile of your own, and as you notice their reaction your smile becomes more assured as you catch the growing sparkle in their eye.

You casually move toward each other, and with hesitation thrown to the wind, it's rightful place, you begin the "Modern Human Mating Ritual". Ready, Set, Go. It's ON!

Now, when you think about the possible outcomes for that interaction, you see that the basic root to all relationships is communication in some form or shape. So with reason, starting conversations and using your conversational ability to attract and choose good relationships, is a necessary skill for dating success...

It is the point where doubt, fear, apprehension, and resistance battle it out with curiosity, desire, and intent. What most people find to be their sticking point is simply, knowing what to say, what to say to initiate the conversation in a way that will lead to more conversation if you so wish.

To start a conversation it comes back to communication, both Verbal and Non-Verbal. What you say and how you say it. The way you appear and project yourself, your voice tonality, gives your words context, and communicates the underlying meaning behind your words, since you can use the same words and mean different things, just with the way you say it.

To enhance your conversational quality, you need to be aware of your body, and what kind of ‘message’ you are communicating with your body. It has been estimated that only 7% of communication is verbal, and a whopping 93% is Non-verbal, including your voice quality, your pitch, resonance, pace, enthusiasm and energy. This directly demonstrates how necessary being aware of what your body is communicating, and not just what to say really is. Then you can convey not only the full flavour of YOU, who you are, your personality but also attract an involved response.

Every conversation has a certain structure, and flow to it, which you can use to initiate and maintain conversations with anyone you wish, virtually anywhere. Understanding these structures will show you that having conversations is as easy as 1, 2, 3.

Here is the Model representing the process of communication that everyone everywhere uses whether they are aware of it or not. It is a simple model for communication, because it flows in phases, which happen rapidly, and at levels most aren't even aware of.

The Frame is the Context of your communication, and is communicated non-verbally. If you are a woman for example, being introduced to a man, for the first time, the ‘context’ behind your communication, based on your personal view of the whomever you are communicating with in relation to you, is the Frame. The way you perceive how the two of you fit or relate within this moment is the frame of the communication.

If you thought that he was cute, since you were 'digging his vibe', your reaction to his communication, and if you initiated, the way you would initiate, the attitude behind your communication would be of a totally different Frame or Context, than the way you would communicate if you weren't into him, which would be dominant

So the Frame is the context behind your communication, so whoever is the first one to start the conversation then sets the Frame or sets the 'tone' of the conversation. Those that add to the conversation when they begin communicating either join that frame or re-frame it.

Now, frames in conversations containing sexual communication as is the case when creating and establishing romantic bonds, could be frames such as “I am an attractive person, and I'm going to give you the pleasure of seeing just how attractive I am, and in doing so, show me just how attractive you are”, or even "”, or even better, "I have somethi”, or “we can only be friends”, and many more. What sets the frame is the way you choose to perceive or view the situation.

When you’re at the mall shopping for clothes, the frame of your conversations with the salespeople would also be “I’m a friendly shopper” or “I’m in a hurry” or “I’m just browsing” which can be discerned just by watching your non-verbal communication.

Now along with the Frame is the Intent. Your intent is simply why you are communicating, and your purpose. If you were being introduced to someone for the first time in a social setting, your intent may be to be playful, spark laughter, create some attraction, and build rapport, as examples. Your intent is what you want to accomplish out of what you are going to say.

If you were about to start a conversation with someone you’re curious about, your intent simply would be to spark attraction in some way, because without some interest being sparked by your first comments, there’s no reason for the person your talking with to continue to conversation. If you spark that interest, then you will have successfully engaged the person in conversation, because they will automatically respond to you, and then, it’s ON!

Having intent is very powerful, because without intent, you won’t have anything to talk about. Your intent gives you the context behind the frame. If you meet someone tonight, and your frame for conversation is: “I’m unique, and I’m curious to see what different unique things I can discover about this person” and you have the intent to be playful, then what you say will be in line with your Frame and Intent automatically. If it isn’t then you are starting with a different frame and Intent, because everything you say or do, has a frame and intent.

When a person isn’t sure of what they want to do or say, their intent is weak, and then their conversation comes to a halt. Silence magnifying an awkward moment. When someone hesitates to approach someone they want to meet, their intent is weak.

Having a desire to approach someone is good, but once you get there, you still need an intent or direction for what you are going to start your conversation off with. If you made your intent to be spark attraction by making the person laugh, that would be a good intent, because you have to now approach the person to do that, and would have the basis for an interesting and stimulating conversation.

Once you know what Frame you want to set, and what your Intent is, now comes the Content, the words, the verbal communication, which is given life and purpose by your frame and intent.

The content you use flows like a river, and just like a river, your conversation will take different streams, directions or conversational threads. So the content or what you say is then based on your Frame and Intent. Now enhancing and amplifying your conversational prowess is all about your conversational flow, because you need to flow your conversation in a way that will create attraction and build connection.

Building connection and attraction is the opposite of having an argument, where you are breaking connection and creating animosity, which stems from a negative frame and intent. Making connections with people is what conversations are all about, because whenever you communicate with someone, you are really connecting with them, and that connection must be made for them to understand what you are saying.

That is why the deeper the level of connection you have with someone becomes, the deeper your level of communication becomes.

Building connection and gauging your conversational flow, follows this pendulum of flow:

Everything you say or do when communicating is a Push, Neutral or a Pull. Initiating a conversation in an overtly arrogant way is a “hard” push. Commenting about the weather is neutral, and telling someone that you’ve just met that you’re in love with them is a definite “pull”. To build connection and conversational flow, you need to strike a balance between the two polarities of Push and Pull.

Having only a neutral conversation isn’t stimulating, but mixing it all together is what creates attraction, and interest, and builds connection. What it comes down to is gauging what direction to take the conversation, and when, when to push a little and tease and be playful, or be neutral and expressive or when to pull and flirt a little and build rapport.

To amplify your conversational ability, you need to build a strong awareness of your own personal communication, and awareness of the effect what you communicate will have on the person you talking to.

Therefore, if you’re chatting with a cute guy or girl you’ve just met at the grocery store, you’ll know whether or not you should pull a little or push, or push some more or pull some more, or be neutral for a bit to let the intensity or your communication cement to current bond you’ve created with each other.

What we’re talking about here is Sexual Chemistry. What is sexual chemistry anyways? That term is used profusely but many people can’t seem identify what exactly Sexual Chemistry is when they feel it or experience it.

Well Sexual Chemistry is created when you push and pull in a way that escalates the Sexual Tension on both sides in relation to each person’s sensitivity to Sexual Tension. There are many things involved in the dynamics of each situation, but if both persons are able to ‘dial up’ the sexual tension at a pace and level that they are both comfortable with, then they would have good Sexual Chemistry.

So the way your content Pushes, Pulls or invokes a Neutral response in those you converse with is what will either make your conversation a pleasurable one that will lead to a deeper connection made or not.

Remember, it all starts with the Frame, the context behind what you are communicating, your Intent, the way you are going to communicate, and your content, what you say, the words you choose to use to communicate and create sexual tension and build connection with those you interact with on your road to successful dating,

By being aware of sexual tension as it happens and amplifying it by pushing and pulling, teasing and flirting, remaining playful, and not taking things too seriously will give you the ability to use your conversational prowess to create intimate connections and build romantic and platonic friendships you can truly be proud of.